a little chewy

Hello this tumblr has me mostly uploading art (mostly embarrassing art)

reblog/personal blog: seriousbirds


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Wolf and Bear

The adventures of Compass

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Posts tagged "kaidan alenko"

while i am on the tegaki streak i have to post this long overdue photoset of what has essentially been a kaidan pokemon au with stonelions(1, 2, 4, 7, and 10 are drawn by lionz and the rest are drawn by me ;w;)

there are 3 different kinds (can you identify them)

wugh i just think baby hawke and baby kaidan would so be sandwich pals ;;;;; TRADING SANDWICHES EVERY DAY

shimmy’s post on mass effect tabloids got me thinking of hey remember the time when kaidan sent shepard nudes and they were intercepted by the futuristic version of tmz? it was hot stuff

a gift for stonelions! papalenko and bright-eyed bushy-tailed spectre alenko oh kaidan IF ONLY YOU KNEW WHAT AWAITED YOU

criz-zone requested post-thanksgiving kaidan complete with ugly sweater heh



sigh it all comes down to bioware crossovers

thank you darlings for coming to the livestream!!!

Sure, Kaidan had heard all the rumors about Commander Shepard. Who hadn’t, by now? He knew the same as anybody else did: the ones about the beard he wouldn’t shave, that he was known as the Champion of the Citadel, that he might’ve been working off the books with a beautiful mercenary wanted in at least two systems. There was this one volus on Omega—you could usually find him in Afterlife—who’d tell you the true story, a different one each day. 

But if you listened more to idle gossip than you looked into a man for yourself, you didn’t end up with too many friends—or too many COs you could trust on assignment. 

They said he’d lost a sister during something they didn’t talk about, an incident on Akuze. They said the Council was just waiting for the chance to cut him off—except he kept on helping them despite their interference, and they needed a man like that when they were dealing with the Reapers. 

They didn’t say he worked with a broody turian whose white face paint wasn’t like the markings Kaidan was used to seeing on them.

‘I always stop off in Afterlife before a mission,’ Commander Garrett ‘Hawke’ Shepard said, before he even introduced himself, the scar across the bridge of his nose looking even bigger than it did in the interviews. 

The beard looked bigger, too. The armor just looked older. And Hawke Shepard was looking at Kaidan. 

‘Nice hair,’ he said finally. ‘How do you get it to stay up like that after wearing a helmet all day? Not,’ he added, ‘that I ever have trouble keeping anything up, mind you.’

‘I don’t know if I follow, sir,’ Kaidan replied. 

‘You will,’ Hawke said. ‘Eventually. It was a compliment, really—for some reason, whenever I’m nice to a person, they always think I’m putting them on or having a laugh at their expense. Why do you suppose that is, lieutenant?’ 

‘Now, Shepard, don’t you think you ought to be a little kinder to him? At least until he settles in.’ The asari in the room turned away from their commander and toward Kaidan. ‘It’s a pleasure to have you working with us, Lieutenant Alenko. I’m Doctor Merrill T’Soni, and don’t let Shepard get the better of you. He’s like this with everyone, especially on their first day.’ 

She’d never know how grateful Kaidan was to her for it. But he never had been top of his class when it came to expressing that kind of thing. 

‘Our mission,’ Hawke said, debriefing them in the engine room, ‘is to pinpoint the whereabouts of and meet with a renegade biotic experiment gone wrong. Subject Zero, first name Anders. Goes by Justice. Think we can handle that?’ 

‘Yes, sir,’ Kaidan replied, the only one saluting.

‘Fantastic. Gravity-defying hair and a can-do attitude.’ Hawke grinned. ‘You know, Merrill, I think I actually like this one?’ 

AHHHH THIS IS SO FANTASTIC BABY SOBSilu ;W; I would read an entire novel like this…………shepard battling the archreapers dkshkashdaksdh

sigh it all comes down to bioware crossovers

thank you darlings for coming to the livestream!!!

some sharpie kaidan sketches

because my blog doesn’t have enough kaidan already sigh

as for the one on the right i’m not sure what happened with that



first he was naked and then i just felt bad

We gave in to each other. And it was perfect— 

Shepard knows what a man keeps with him, even after he dies. It’s what stays covered up, not what gets pulled back to show you the way. It’s the fall of the sheets over Kaidan’s lap, the damp line of sweat on dark hair below his navel, and the arch in the small of his back. It’s the way his hands trembled once—and then, how they were steady after.

It’s the warmth on his skin, or the idea that something could be perfect. It’s the blush Shepard shared with him, hot on his cheeks, but it was too dark back then to see it.

Shepard didn’t have his scars, just a line of stubble that rubbed raw on Kaidan’s lips. And even that wasn’t something that bothered them, Kaidan chuckling, fingertips resting on his own bare skin. 

‘It feels like it’s been a long time coming, Shepard,’ he said. 

‘It’s been a long few weeks, that’s what it’s been,’ Shepard replied. 

Not exactly the most romantic thing. 

But that’s what Shepard takes with him when he dies. It’s better than an almost, although it falls short of an always. It’s brighter, hotter than fire, deeper than empty space, and Shepard won’t let it die with him. 

It’s how long they had—while it lasted. 



off screen is cortez trying to figure out how to help kaidan with the grieving process heh heh

The bruises heal eventually. There are scars, but the rest mends. Nobody can see the headaches—just the shadows under his eyes, where he rubs the dark circles with his thumbs, or digs his knuckles into soft flesh. 

Headaches. The signs are so clear, for somebody who knows what they’re looking at or what they’re looking for.

He can probably see stars on the dark backs of his eyelids when they’re shut. Steve knows all about that, white blooming over black, before you blink and your vision clears. He knows what they say—that it’s a step you keep trying to take only to realize all over again that it isn’t there anymore, tripping up at the last second, sitting down instead when your legs give out.

There’s nobody else in the world who can sit next to you, not when you know the one body you want isn’t there.

You get up each morning. You even comb your hair. You watch in the mirror while the bruises fade, and when you close your eyes, you see the stars that might as well not be up in the sky anymore. They’re that bright, that far away. They disappear when you open your eyes. You stay awake as long as you can, but it doesn’t last and you don’t let go. 

Kaidan sits like he knows how to stand, keeps his eyes open, focuses on something right there. Steve knows the signs. He’s met them all before. 

He waits for the bruises to heal, which they always do—eventually. And when he sits next to Kaidan he doesn’t say it’s just like a step that’s missing because it isn’t. It’s a step they already took, a step they can’t take back. Not that they would—if they had that real choice anymore. 

‘Hey,’ Steve says instead.

‘Hey,’ Kaidan replies. 

Together, they watch the far wall. 

gasps and sobs and clings to you

oh my heart oh my heart


story of shepard’s life, isn’t it? being so close but still so far away; watching everything go down from a distance, which gives perspective, sure, but it doesn’t always give opportunity. yeah, shepard gets there, but these things are as much about timing as they are about luck, about the good and the bad, about trying to be everywhere at once, about your grip slipping. about blind spots. and then your empty hands are pressed against a chestpiece, armor that holds a body down instead of standing between it and danger, no way to hear the heartbeat beneath, just waiting for somebody to take one more breath. thinking it should’ve been me, kaidan. it was you, and it should’ve been me.

beautiful words sigh

i always wonder if it was traumatic at all for kaidan to see the same robot woman who had him in a deathgrip walking around the normandy and joining him on the battlefield


“It does… it does feel right after all this time. You and me. I like that… a lot.”

(via danresa-rossta-deactivated20121)

this took way too long bleghuhg

custom shep and kaiduu

there’s no way to read this other than that like
kaidan is so completely fucking in love with shepard and it’s not even like he’s torn up about it like he has his struggles and his questions but this
he just